Many of the stresses teens experience are related to growing up. They worry about their changing body, struggle with sexuality and search for their identity. Teenagers can talk about their problems and should have developed problem-solving skills. However, because of the emotional upheaval and their uncertainty about important decisions, they need special help and support from adults, precisely teenage parenting.

During early adolescence, teens are very sensitive to criticism. Even Well-meant advice can seem like criticism and trigger an angry or defence response. Self-esteem is generally low. Common stresses include taking

tests, pressure to make good grades, pressure to experiment with sex and drugs, problems in boy/girl relationships, concerns about fairness, right and wrong, nervousness about speeches and competition, uncertainty about personal appearance, pressure from too many activities, caring for younger brothers and sisters, not enough time, and lack of self-confidence.

How can you tell if your teenager is under too much stress? Look for eating or weight problems, excessive daydreaming, drug abuse or nervous tics like unusual eye-blinking, nail biting, and muscle twitching. Emotional stresses can lead to talk about suicide, delinquency, perfectionist behavior, isolation, and failure in school. Neglecting personal appearance, increased irritability and exhaustion are other signs of stress. Often teens respond to stress by withdrawing, not communicating, becoming rebellious, and getting into trouble.

What can you do to help? Teenagers need to find constructive ways to deal with stressful situations. As your teenager learns that he can deal with problems, he gains a positive attitude about himself. Offer honest praise when he does a good job on something. Remember to say thank you. Teenagers often feel unappreciated.

Consider your child’s schedule. Is he over-extending himself? Some teenagers find themselves wamped when they add an after-school job to an already full Day. Is he expected to do too much at home? Although teenagers should be Doing regular chores, some do become overburdened with them. Teenagers are Still children, and they need time to relax and play.

Perhaps the most effective way to help your teenager manage his stress is to keep the lines of communication open. He may not want or need your advice, However, he will appreciate your attention. Most teenagers like adults to just Listen to them. They want someone to hear what they have to say. This Doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t express your opinions, particularly on Important matters like values. But if every discussion turns into an Argument, you may need to spend more time listening, and to express your Opinions calmly and quietly.

Encourage your child to do physical activity. Teens can work off some of their Stresses in aerobics, cycling, skating, or jogging. This is a very Constructive way of dealing with stress. Other positive approaches include Learning to be assertive, to control anger, and to say “no.”

When should you seek help? Adolescence is a difficult time for teens and their families. When pressures become extreme and when solutions run out, it’s time to talk about getting help. When you see evidence that your child is using drugs or when your teen talks about suicide or begins giving away treasured items, get professional help immediately. Watch for warning signs of depression, risky sexual practices, unusual antisocial behaviour, and personality changes.

Children cannot escape the stress and the pressures that come with living in today’s society. However, they can learn ways to cope. As a parent, you can help your child in a number of ways:

Teach your child to solve problems. He needs to learn to identify the problem, possible solutions, pros and cons of possible solutions, and then to select the best choice.

Talk with your child. Set aside a special time to talk. Find out what’s happening in his life. Be honest and open with him. Tell children about the family’s goals and discuss difficulties, without burdening them with your problems. Compliment children when they do well, and don’t forget hugs and kisses.

Make sure your child has periods of quiet time so that he can relax. Teach him that exercise–playing ball, skating, swimming, running, walking, riding a bike–is also relaxing. Be supportive. Mutual respect and shared values help during periods of stress. Your child needs to let off steam. He will also benefit by seeing how you cope successfully with stress.