Jokes

Q. What happened to the plant in the maths class?
A. It Developed square roots.
Q. Why did lightening hit the bus?
A. Because there was a conductor in it.
Q. What did the piece of paper say to the other?
A. I get your point.
Q. What did one eye say to the other?
A. There is something between us that smells.




Q. What did one magnet say to the other?
A. You are very attractive.
Q. What did the traffic light say to the motorist?
A. Don’t look- I am changing.
Q. What is the difference between a hill and a pill?
A. One goes up and the other goes down.

Q.What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A. Put it on my bill.

Q.What has four wheels and flies?
A. Garbage truck!

Q.Why was the Egyptian boy worried?
A. Because his daddy was mummy.

Q.Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it sawsalad dressing.

Q.How do you know when a clock is hungry?
A. When it goes back for seconds.

Q.What do cannibals do at a wedding?
A. Toast the bride and groom.

Q.Why did the fly fly?
A. Because the Spider spied-er.

Q.How long will the next bus be?
A. About eighteen foot.

Q.How do you start a bear race?
A. Ready, Teddy,Go !
Q. Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A. Because 7 ate(8) 9.

Q.What’s the best way to catch a squirrel?
A. Climb a tree andact like a nut.

Q.Why did the teacher put the lights on?
A. Because the class was sodim!

Q.What is a forum?
A. Two-um plus two-um.

Teacher: Where is yourhome work?
Pupil: I was muggedon the way to school and the mugger took every thingI had.

Q.What would you get if you crossed a vampire anda teacher?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q.What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
A. Square meals!

Q.What bird can lift the heaviest weight?
A. Crane.

Mummydoes God use our bathroom?
“No darling, why do you ask?”

“Well, every morning daddy bangs on the door andshouts ,’ Oh God! Are you still there”

Boy: ( howling) A crab just bit my toe.
Dad: Which one?
Boy: How do I know,all crabs look the same.

Teacher: What’s 2 and2?
Pupil: 4.
Teacher: That’s good.
Pupil: Good?, that’sperfect!
Two boys turned up at a doctor’s clinic. ” I have swallowed a marble” said the smaller boy to the doctor. ” I see,” replied the doctor, ” and is this your brother with you ?” ” No,” said the other boy, ” I own the marble”.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An onion a day keeps everyone away.