Most of us use power oriented style while disciplining children. Assuming that yielding the rod alone will bear fruit, we have little inclination towards reasoning. Even after repeated explanations when the child does not stop the odious behavior, parents will resort to threats and reprimands. The age of child also makes a difference. It is easier to reason with older children, while the younger pre-school ones need power assertion in most of the situations. Yet a lot depends on the child’s own personality too. It has been discovered that affection-oriented way of disciplining is more effective as it enhances the child’s moral values and behavior. It also promotes the sense of personal responsibility. The affection oriented technique has positive and long-lasting consequences. One of the reasons is that, when parents use this style for disciplining, they help the child to focus on the feelings of others and this evokes concern. They appeal to the child’s emotions. Along with this, when the parents explain the rule, it gives information to the child against which he/she can judge his/her actions and use it to guide their future behavior. Ideally, the method of disciplining should be such that it leads the child to internalize the behavior.
When a child does the right things only when others are watching, he/she is doing so only to please them or to avoid punishment. Of course, in early years the factor that operates in the child’s mind is , “What will my mother/teacher say if I do this?” But as the child grows older, this reliance upon external factors to control one’s behavior must shift to internal control, so that the child feels the desire to do the right for rights sake. Raising one’s hands, holding ears, or kneeling down is no permanent solution to any mistake the child makes. Now, won’t you like to change your style of disciplining.
This is not a joke. It is a reality. This is what most of us parents do without realizing the after effects of such behavior. We must understand our responsibility towards our child and help him to become a better citizen and a better person as a whole.